1. When Time Gets Old


When time gets old and space runs out
When warmth runs cold and thoughts breed doubt
Don’t know who is coming
Don’t know who got lost
Along the way

The slippery slope is touch and go
The loss of hope keeps love down low
When darkness fades into a blur
The figures in faint shadows stir

The less you see the more you feel
Out there in the universe
Where fantasy is more real

The less you see the more you feel
Where fantasy is much more real

Can’t touch ourselves, can’t look inside
Can’t go that deep, just run and hide
We’re present but we’re so detached
Where fantasy’s more real

© Music: Jessie Jacobson-Jarrett Lesko-Brian Bielski (7/7/22)
Lyrics: Jessie Jacobson (7/7/22 + 5/5/07)

Jessie Jacobson: Vocal, Guitar
Jarrett Lesko: Bass
Brian Bielski: Drums

Studio improvisation July 7, 2022.
Additional vocals added fall 2022.
Produced by Jessie Jacobson.
Mixed by Michael James.
Engineers: Sam Pruette, Jessie Jacobson.

2. Deadline (Album Version)

The door is always open
My heart is not foolproof
The things you’ll find inside of her
Three square meals and a roof

There are a hundred dead zones
Between here and where you can receive me
There are a host of dangerous dropouts
In the thickets of this village

Deadline, deadline, deadline, dead line

Sparks exploding from the phone
Lines unravel like live snakes
And the message getting lost
Is more than just one more

Deadline, deadline, deadline, dead line

I cannot explain my disappearance
Can you please provide some more details
So I know what to be looking for
If your investigation fails

Deadline, deadline, deadline

If I could do today again
I’d try to make things less disjointed
I don’t know what I could have changed
Then I’d want the day back before
One day less to be disappointed

Deadline, deadline

Now I’m free instead

Now I’m free instead

I talk to myself
I am someone else
I know me inside out
And everywhere - just doubt

© Music: Jarrett Lesko-Brian Bielski-Jessie Jacobson (7/7/22)
Lyrics: Jessie Jacobson (2019 + 2022 + 2/19/15 + 5/13/15)

Jessie Jacobson: Vocal, Bass
Jarrett Lesko: Slide Guitar
Brian Bielski: Drums

Studio improvisation July 7, 2022.
Produced by Jessie Jacobson.
Mixed by Michael James.
Engineers: Sam Pruette, Jessie Jacobson.

3. Empty Notion

I’m bent
I’ve been sent
By a doctor
He’s worried

I’m your problem
I’m your fool
No solution
You’re not cool

The face of evil is revealed
The face of hope is denied
Here comes the boll weevil
He’s ready to crawl inside

You kill all the progress
You will kill each dream
We find a way, we all regress
And plant our scheme

Nothing means anything anymore
Everything’s so important anyway
So what are you waiting for?
Who’s your clarion call?

What are you late for?
Where are you gonna fall?

The saint he hesitated behind the alcove door
He pondered and he waited
And he turned and paced the floor
Considered all his options
The things he’d worked hard for
He interlaced his fingers
And felt the weight once more
He contemplated history and contemplated sin
He wondered if it was too late
And gently rubbed his chin

Times such as these present themselves
As tests of faith and devotion
And when one’s grasp exceeds one’s reach
The truth is just an empty notion

It’s so empty

© Music: Jarrett Lesko-Jessie Jacobson-Brian Bielski (7/7/22)
Lyrics, Melody: Jessie Jacobson (7/7/22 + 9/22/16)

Jessie Jacobson: Vocal, Guitar
Jarrett Lesko: Bass
Brian Bielski: Drums

Studio improvisation July 7, 2022.
Produced by Jessie Jacobson.
Mixed by Michael James.
Engineers: Sam Pruette, Jessie Jacobson.

4. Butterflies In My Chest

Once danger would attract me
Now it’s better left alone
There’s no real way to atone
There’s no downside in a vacuum
Once the challenge held the aces
Now I’d rather just lay down

When the cards are stacked against me
Let the gamblers take this town
What’s the odds that the fire in my belly
Turns to queasiness and dread

All the butterflies in my chest
Will likely end up dead
There’s no stirring left in my loins
Just a burning in the head

In those days I craved the contact
Now I’d rather sit and wait
I’m not sure I miss desire
It always fizzled in the end

Once all I wanted was a love
Now I’d rather look down from up above

All the butterflies in my chest
Will likely end up dead
Now I’d rather look down from up above instead

© Music: Jessie Jacobson-Brian Bielski-Jarrett Lesko (7/7/22)
Lyrics: Jessie Jacobson (2017 + 8/25-27/22)

Jessie Jacobson: Vocal, Guitar
Jarrett Lesko: Bass
Brian Bielski: Drums

Studio improvisation July 7, 2022.
Produced by Jessie Jacobson.
Mixed by Michael James.
Engineers: Sam Pruette, Jessie Jacobson.


5. Frame Of Reference

Why do I cry all day?
Do I hide away?
Why, why, why?

I want to, want to try, want to
I can’t see through your eyes
I am skeptical of all the stars
I am finding my voice wanting
I found refuge in these lies

Why, why can’t I, why, why?
Why can’t I try?
Why can’t I?

Oh you want to feel
Something new, something unreal
You wanna screw yourself in the ground
You wanna do something you ain’t found

Why can’t we?
Why can’t we see?
Why don’t we heal?
Why not try?

I feel unnecessary
Feeling awful wary
Thoughts so fragmentary
That I cannot carry
I can’t hold this feeling for much longer, I’m afraid
I can’t tell you’re stronger
I can’t put things in your way
In your way

I fade
I can’t – so high – I –
I can’t, I can’t try
There’s no frame of reference, frame of reference
In my eyes
In my eyes

© Music: Jessie Jacobson-Jarrett Lesko-Brian Bielski (7/7/22)
Lyrics: Jessie Jacobson (7/7/22 + 1/28-29/22 + 9/12/22)

Jessie Jacobson: Vocal, Guitar
Jarrett Lesko: Bass
Brian Bielski: Drums

Studio improvisation July 7, 2022.
Additional vocals added fall 2022.
Produced by Jessie Jacobson.
Mixed by Michael James.


6. Decade Of Violence, Conspiracy Of Silence

Low men feel the wall
Lonely place, heed the call
He held them in his thrall
He promised it all

The distance is growing
As time, it suspends
The cracks are all showing
Could this be how it ends?

Decade of violence
Conspiracy of silence
Fires in the hills
A burning sky that chills
Media bonfire
Immediate threat
Unpleasant infections
You haven’t seen the worst of it yet
They’ve stolen our voice
Left us no choice

I – I fade away
I – I change from night into day
I don’t have direction
I want affection
‘Cause I need you more
I’ll show you what for

I’m gone, gone
I’m gone
I’m gone
I don’t deserve the cruelty
You dish out like a glass of wine
I can’t see any more of my own future
I can see it’s not mine

Decade of violence
Conspiracy of silence

© Music: Brian Bielski-Jarrett Lesko-Jessie Jacobson (7/7/22)
Lyrics: Jessie Jacobson (7/7/22 + 9/10/22 + 9/14/22)

Jessie Jacobson: Vocal, Guitar
Jarrett Lesko: Bass
Brian Bielski: Drums

Studio improvisation July 7, 2022.
Additional vocals added fall 2022.
Produced by Jessie Jacobson.
Mixed by Michael James.
Engineers: Sam Pruette, Jessie Jacobson.

7. Get Out Of My Head

I want to get out of my head
Leave my body behind

Brush the kinks out of my hair
And shake the cobwebs from my mind
One foot above the other

One foot after the other

I want to get out of my head

Out of my head

© Music: Jessie Jacobson (7/7/22)
Lyrics: Jessie Jacobson (4/1/16)

Jessie Jacobson: Vocal, Guitar
Brian Bielski: Drums

Studio improvisation July 7, 2022.
Produced by Jessie Jacobson.
Mixed by Michael James.
Engineers: Sam Pruette, Jessie Jacobson.

8. Wavering

I’m bitter as I’m brittle
A rose that’s cracked and dry
I’m reeling in my feelings
I’m trying not to cry
As if teardrops would absolve me
In the blinking of an eye
As though their tracks might wash away
The wrinkles of this lie

I’m standing on the shore
Wavering like mad
I can’t say any more
I think that I’ve been had
I hope you don’t agree
And welcome me inside
But all that I can see
Is something you won’t hide

I’d ask you for a drink
But my voice has gone all dumb
I steady myself on the couch
My fingers have gone numb
The room is closing in
My nerves tight as a drum
I’m not the one you wanted
But please don’t mind the make-up
Because I can’t make up my mind
And I’m hoping that I wake up
I seem to have mislaid
The notion of just what this is
I think that I’ve been made
To mind my own business

The furrows in my face
A funnel for the tears
That fall into the deep depressions
And wash across the years
I’d rather be short-sighted
Than blindsided by a future
That isn’t built to last
And looks too much like my past

It’s sneaking up behind me
Stalks me night and day
Knows just where to find me
Inside my DNA

I’m standing on the shore
Wavering like mad

© Music: Jessie Jacobson (7/7/22)
Lyrics: Jessie Jacobson (9/12/09, 3/10/16, 4/11/16, 8/4/22)

Jessie Jacobson: Vocal, Guitar
Jarrett Lesko: Bass
Brian Bielski: Drums

Studio improvisation July 7, 2022.
Additional vocals added 2023.
Produced by Jessie Jacobson.
Mixed by Michael James.
Engineers: Sam Pruette, Jessie Jacobson.

9. Hold On To The Real

Magic in the well
The mirror cast its spell
It’s a tragic tale to tell
This world that hurts like hell

I was out on my feet
I feel so incomplete
Hold on

This world is twitchy, thorny, lame
Each secret is a source of shame
Each of us knows what’s in a name
Hold on, hold on, hold on

They’re happy when you turn away
Can’t see it coming anyway
I fall
I crawl
I’m all…
But no thanks

Your daily mantra is
Be still
Your daily law is
Don’t kill
I know
Can’t breathe
I can’t fall down

Hold on to the real
Hold on to what you feel
Hold on to the real
Hold on to the real
Hold on - hold on

© Music: Jarrett Lesko-Jessie Jacobson-Brian Bielski (7/7/22)
Lyrics: Jessie Jacobson (7/7/22)

Jessie Jacobson: Vocal, Guitar
Jarrett Lesko: Bass
Brian Bielski: Drums

Studio improvisation July 7, 2022.
Additional vocals added 2023.
Produced by Jessie Jacobson.
Mixed by Michael James.
Engineers: Sam Pruette, Jessie Jacobson.

10. Occupy This Moment

I’ve been asleep, I lie awake
Can’t tell the difference
I try to sleep but I just shake
I don’t know if I’m in between or awake
Are they fever dreams or a talisman?
I’m all over the place
There was never a plan

I lie awake

I’ve gone off some things
I’ve come on to others
This is my stop
Where I get off
It’s coming so quickly now
But I don’t need a lot
I pray, I lay, breaking down

Forget for the moment all that’s come before
Regret is a movement that can only grow more
I’m done in a minute
You’ve done all you can
We’re all over the place
There was never a plan

I’ve gone off some things
I’ve come on to others
This is my stop
Where I get off

If I occupy this moment
In this desert in the rain
Is it mine to keep forever?
Will it ever come again?
Is just being a commitment?
Can survival be a goal?
Am I shadow or reflection?
Is life will or self-control?

We weave through it somehow
Entranced with the now
We float through this timespan
There was never a plan

If I occupy this moment

© Music: Jarrett Lesko-Jessie Jacobson-Brian Bielski (7/7/22)
Lyrics, Melody: Jessie Jacobson
(12/16/16 + 2017 + 7/7/22 + 9/12/22)

Jessie Jacobson: Vocal, Bass
Jarrett Lesko: Slide Guitar
Brian Bielski: Drums

Studio improvisation July 7, 2022.
Produced by Jessie Jacobson.
Mixed by Michael James.
Engineers: Sam Pruette, Jessie Jacobson.

11. It All Comes Apart

My lifeless caring
I like how I treat you nice
And I don’t care

My face is your fear
My eyes hold you near
I’m one, I’m one, I’m one, I’m one
And you’re nobody

I rise beside you
Deny you
So I am over you
Going
Where are you going?

Leave me alone, leave me alone
Leave me alone, leave me alone
Get out of my head
Get out of my heart
Get out of my bed
We’ve come apart
In my hands

Wait ‘til it all falls apart in your hands
Hate around you infects your soul

© Music: Jessie Jacobson-Jarrett Lesko-Brian Bielski (7/7/22)
Lyrics: Jessie Jacobson (7/7/22)

Jessie Jacobson: Vocal, Guitar
Jarrett Lesko: Bass
Brian Bielski: Drums

Studio improvisation July 7, 2022.
Produced by Jessie Jacobson.
Mixed by Michael James.
Engineers: Sam Pruette, Jessie Jacobson.

12. Last Goodbye

It’s getting late
It’s getting dark
It’s getting cold
In the park

There’s only one rising sun
Why reason?

We’re bound so tight
We’re stretched so thin
Can we be safe in our own skin?

We’ve grown so tired
Keep getting lost
The things that we desired
Came at such a cost

It’s the last goodbye
It’s a short hello
Don’t ask me why
You don’t want to know

It’s so cold, no room inside
There’s nowhere left to hide

Never take it at a distance
Never take it all for granted

I’m so wasted
I’m running blind

Echoes of a past that’s gone
A present to be folded
Down into experience
You’ll find it’s overloaded

Wait
But don’t wait too long
Wait
But don’t wait too long
Wait
But don’t wait too long

© Music: Brian Bielski-Jarrett Lesko-Jessie Jacobson (7/7/22)
Lyrics: Jessie Jacobson (7/7/22 + fall 2022)

Jessie Jacobson: Vocal, Guitar, EBow Guitar
Jarrett Lesko: Bass
Brian Bielski: Drums, Piano

Studio improvisation July 7, 2022.
Additional vocals, guitar and piano added October 2023.
Produced by Jessie Jacobson.
Mixed by Michael James.
Engineers: Sam Pruette, Jessie Jacobson.